Mohabbat

"Mohabbat bhi Zindagi ki tarah hoti hai
Har mod asaan nehi hota, har mod pe khushiya nehi milti.
Jab hum zindagi ka saath nehi chhodte toh
Mohabbat ka saath kyun chhode??
---Mohabbatein

Thursday, 21 June 2018

Girls and Realization...One Sentence Thought

if we look at the status of the women in our society then its clearly visible that in last twenty years women have changed their social status in a tremendous way, "empowered women" are now a days a matter of discussion and for this change all those girls and ladies have the credit who have fought against the dogmatic thoughts of our society,have proved themselves in different field, have matched their shoulders with the boys, have shown their mental and physical strength with extraordinary fighting spirit, there was a time when women were not allowed to step out behind the curtain, yes i am talking about that era when jobs and education were beyond the imagination of the girls and it took long years for the women to remove the curtain and to step into the outer world,"Rome was not built in a day"...in the same way "empowered women" have not come into existence in a decade but a huge change is not so easy to take place in a vast field, its not easy to come out from your ancient  traditional backdated thoughts, neither its possible to change your mentality so easily but for this not only the women have the credit rather a good percentage of credit goes to the parents who have been able to relate with the thoughts and desires of their daughters and have supported them facing the obstacles raised by the society but as i have mentioned above a huge change in thoughts removing your backward thoughts is not easy to take place and so some girls are growing up with those backdated thoughts which they have learnt from their parents and my earnest request to those girls is...try to know yourself as much as deeply as you can otherwise your curiosity can be harmful for others, not clear? OK, let me explain it...if you have been brought up with the thoughts that you are a girl and you should get married as soon as possible when you become eligible for it after a certain age(18+) and if you believe it whole heartily then you should be clear what you want to do and what you should not do, without a single effort to make you understand "what you should not do" i will prefer to focus only on a single activity where you can show "Humanity" or better to say "your common sense",  now if you ask me why i am avoiding to make you understand "what you should not do" then let me inform you that...to cover up this topic i have to write a lot and at the end everything will be gone over your brain so its better to avoid such fruitless effort and i think i should concentrate in the issue which any human being with minimum commonsense can understand easily and the issue is...if you don't have fighting mentality, if you are a parasite, if having all the facilities you prefer to spend life depending on others so you are trying to get married as soon as possible just after crossing the certain age then please never ever try to fulfill your curiosity towards "Love" by accepting someone's proposal (whose age is not much higher than you) knowing that how deeply he loves you coz you dont have the fighting mentality neither an indomitable spirit so naturally you will use "love" as a fun or a game which can hurt  the feelings of your boyfriend cause you neither have the mentality to fight for your love nor have the mentality to give time to your love life because you have been brought up to get married whenever you get a suitable groom so, "Know thyself" as much as possible, try to realize your mentality and stop playing with the pure and true emotions of the boys only to fulfill your curiosity but here i admit that curiosity towards "love" is very common after a certain age but if you can understand yourself in a deeper way then you can avoid hurting them and also on the other hand you can fulfill your curiosity  after the marriage through your spouse which will help you in  both the ways...neither you will suffer from guilty consciousness(if you have conscience or consciousness) for playing with the emotion of  a boy  nor you have to make plan for breakup.






P.S. :- Few months back i have come to know about a girl who have been caught five times with different boyfriends and her actual nature has been exposed and on the other hand a boy loves her from past few years, earlier he never listened to anyone whenever some people have tried to make him aware about the nature of the girl but at present he is blaming himself for being in love with a wrong girl.

"Mohabbat galat nahi hota...galat insan se ho jata hai."


Tuesday, 19 June 2018

Jamaishasthi...Reflection Of Patriarchal society

Today is a very special day...oh Sorry, i should have used "Auspicious" 

so


Today is a very auspicious day in Bengal,
Yes, according to the "Tithi" today in bengal "Jamaishasthi" will be celebrated


ha ha ha ha....just remmemberd what me and my sister used to explain the meaning of "jamaishasthi" during our school days..."Sosur barir gustir shahsthi pujo"
now the phrase..."gusthir shahthi Puja" means...kisi ka bara baja dena( to exhaust someone by torturing them indirectly).
This is what actually happens in this day...
A grand feast is arranged for the son-in-laws in every house(those who have) and they are treated as a king...
Fishes which are available in average...Rs150-200 per kg takes the height rs 300-500 per kg.

Hilsha (Elish) becomes available from Rs 1000-1200 per kg whose rate in other normal days varies from Rs 400-500 Per kg.
the price of the fruits becomes three to four times higher.
why i am talking about fishes? coz an age old tradition for this day is to serve the fish head,should be a big one to the son-in-laws, a small fish head or medium sized can be considerd as lesser love to the son-in-law.

Now comes the dress...yes, every son-in-law should receive some expensive dresses from their in-laws house, earlier Dhooti and Punjabi were the traditional one but now a days...shirts, t-shirts and jeans are also welcome.

Another traditional thing attached with this ritual is...Umbrella, earlier days with the dresses umbrella used to be an important gift, now-a-days it can be replaced with rain coats.

But if you think about foods the fish head is enough then you are wrong...there should be more and more items in lunch,breakfast and dinner.
Lets have  a look...in average...


Loochi and Aloor dom(Potato curry) and Begun Bhaja (sliced and fried brinjal), minimum two types of sweets in breakfast.
In lunch...

1.boiled rice
2. ghee
3. shukto(a must one )
4.Daal
5. potato and brinjal fry (Traditionally five crispy fries)
6.minimum three-four types(actually "five" according to the tradition) of vegetable preparations.
6.a preparation of fish head, preparation of other different fishes  (traditionally four fish items)
 7.chicken(average rate...rs 140-160 per kg but today it becomes rs 180-220 per kg) is not allowed yes...there should be mutton whose average rate is rs 400-500 per kg but this day it takes the height rs 900-1000 per kg.
8.dessert
9. curd,
10. soured chutney,
11.Sweets...minimum three types.
12.paan




An average lunch items for the son-in-laws










For more info with a real life experience you can go through my post on this same topic which i shared last year in my other blog...




Jamai Shasthi—Reflects Patriarchal Society


so i hope you can understand that me and my sister were not wrong about this tradition...think about the financial burden the families have to take so that...their daughter get proper respect in the house of in-laws...psychologically this fear always knocks them, specially until the couple completes five years of married life with good understanding.



Not a single parent can even imagine to skip this tradition(Out of fear?????) just after the marriage of their daughter...the psychological truth.


now coming to the psychological point of view...every father-in-law and mother-in-law will express...they are doing it from the deep core of their heart and yes there is no doubt in this issue but what bout the Jamai(son-in-law), i personally believe...they should be concerned about the financial burden of their in-laws on the other hand the question which has become very common now-a-days is...there is "Jamaishathi" but there is no "Boushahthi or "Koneshashthi" (Bou or kone means married woman".
Whether its kaurva chauth or Shivratri or Jamaishasthi the women have to fast.



its just a tradition and from the beginning it reflects that our society has always been ruled by the men...the patriarchal society. There is a religious story behind this but how the Jamais(son-in-laws) has got the priority is purely a reflection of our patriarchal society, yes, with that religious story the Jamais(son-in-laws) are not connected at all.



so this is the day for the son-in-laws to spend the day with sumptuous foods and the mother-in-laws to spend with fasting and taking care to their jamais.




Now another truth is....if a son-in-law informs that he cant visit his in-laws house during this day out of work or have not got leave from office then its OK, but if the son-in-law can visit then his in-laws MUST HAVE TO ARRANGE IT.

Friday, 15 June 2018

Would You Ever

Only if you knew that was our last goodbye,

Would you have still let me go?


Only if you knew that we would be seeing “Us” together for the last time,

Would you have glanced a little longer?

If you knew that was our last skirmish,

Would you have fought a little more?

Only if you knew that was our last touch,

Would you have kissed me longer and held me in your arms forever?

If you could see my heart tearing apart,

Would you have still hurt me & have blew me years ago?

 






P.S. if we knew the reaction of our actions, how simple the life would have been. If we knew loving someone and then unloving them would cause so much pain and agony. Do you think, we would have hurt them so much? If we knew that this is going to be that last touch, last smile, last goodbye, just last, how different things would have been. But I guess this is what life is : Unpredictable & Unexplainable. 




Mansi Sharma Mittal is a blogger and a content writer who has worked with prominent brands. Her work has been published in Anthology 'The Seasons '. She also blogs at various parenting sites. She is currently working on her manuscript.To regularly blogs through
Lyflikedat.wordpress.com
A mother by heart and a writer by soul is what defines her most.




Wednesday, 6 June 2018

Pest,PH And Poems : The Happiness Rains

Top post on IndiBlogger, the biggest community of Indian Bloggers

Its raining,
the stranger things.

 
Candid slaps,
Multi fold switches,
Tangled threads,
Adaptive randoms,
Enigmatic machines,
Dark discounts.

 
Its raining,
Happiness.




 Academician,  always a researcher, blogger (Its PH). Life until I started PhD (Computer Science) was more about studies, education and work. With 6 years of academic and industry experience, I knew PhD would open a lot of possibilities. By no means had I thought starting a blog out of research frustration would open up assortment of writing opportunities. I certainly believe there is lot more to explore. 



















Monday, 4 June 2018

The Heart And The Words

तेरी खूबसूरती की कौन सी पहलू को बयां करें !!!!



तेरी की आँखों की रंगत को

नूर-ए-जहां बताएं

या
तेरे चेहरे की सादगी पे शायरी लिखे

या


तेरी गालो की रौनक
तेरे होठो की मासूमियत
तेरी पलकों की खुसबू
तेरे जुल्फों की घटा को
कविता बताएं !!!!



या फिर तेरे बच्चो जैसी  खिलखिलाती हंसी

तेरे दबे होठों पे गुनगुनाती मुस्कान

तेरी सुरीली ख़ामोशी

तेरी खामोश लफ्ज़ से दिल को बयां करने की अंदाज़

तेरी धीर सी आँखों में इज़हार पे

ग़ज़ल लिखे  II



या खुदा !!!!

क्या नायाब सकस बनाया तूने !!!!!!


शब्दों की कमी है और

एहसास है के  ख़तम नहीं होती II





For the first time i directly typed the entire poem while making it...thoughts continued to knock and i continued typing.



Thursday, 31 May 2018

Tadap---218





ज़िंदगी उन दोनों के  नाम कर दी मैंने
तबाही के लिए मशहूर है जो 
एक  मोहब्बत दिल से निभाया
दूसरी ये शराब है .





Wednesday, 30 May 2018

Tadap---217



शिकायते तो बहोत है खुदा से
और ये मोड़ भी अजीब ज़िन्दगी की
ज़ज्बात भी कशमकश पे है ... 


नाराजगी जताए
या रोये जार जार II








Monday, 28 May 2018

Habit...The Second Nature

When its about social gatherings...i am far away from this, those who are the regular readers of my blog knows it full well but this time the situation was different, it was the birthday of one of my closed relatives and i have been given some responsibilities which i had to complete in between the dead line.
Around 8 PM when the guests started to visit the party i was totally busy with my thoughts sitting in the crowd in the corner of a sofa coz i found not a single place in the entire house where i could spend time alone, even not the terrace. 

Different people made different groups as it happens in every party and were busy in their discussion or in gossips, nothing attractive were there...not a single young lady, oh God so much boring it was but the situation changed after a while when Mr.Ghosh entered there with his family, they took seats in the dining hall and the host were introducing Mr. Ghosh with other invitees, after a while when Mr. Ghosh was talking with some other people he informed them that his daughter is suffering from lots of diseases from very childhood days, though she is under treatment in a famous nursing home of India but her diseases are so much critical that those cant be healed totally, he has to visit the nursing home two times a year yet not much improvement has been observed in her daughter's condition,it happens frequently that her daughter has to take bed rest for six to seven days which hampers her study a lot.

All these information Mr.Ghosh not only shared with a single  group of people rather before the dinner when he was spending time with other groups he was talking about his daughter's condition and every time his family members, i mean his wife and his daughter were present there.

If you see his daughter you can easily understand her physical condition, she i presently a student of first year in college but she will look like a girl of seven or eighth standard...her growth has slowed down due to the diseases.



So, what i experienced while i was roaming in the house in the search of a lone place...


The group of Aunties, they were discussing about the girl, they all were very upset knowing her condition and there were sad feelings in their hearts which they were expressing through their words,like


"May God bless this child"


"Oh God, how poor girl she is, think about her pains and sufferings"


"she has to tolerate so tough moments in life"


I shifted myself from that place and entered in another room where some uncles were discussing about the same girl...


"i think Mr.Ghsoh has burden over his shoulder of loans otherwise such treatment is very tough to carry on"


"Think about the expenditure her father has to bear every month, i wish the girl recovers soon"


Finding no space to spend time alone i returned back to dinner hall and after a while the dinner has been served and i was very happy that now very soon i can leave this place.


After returning back home being freshen up i just opened my computer that time my sister entered in my room and asked angrily...
 

was it very necessary for Mr.Ghsosh to repeatedly inform the people about the condition of her daughter in front of her? does not he have the common sense that it will affect the psychology of her daughter, it will make her mentally weak and she will loose her strength to fight again the diseases, does not he have the minimum common sense that what to speak and where to speak?

Being a teacher my sister is much concerned about the mentality and the psychology of that girl, this is what she does not only in school rather to the students who take tuition from her and in this field she has quite good hold this is the reason her students not only share their problem related to subject or study rather they share their personal problem and always have got benefits.

This is what i wanted to focus through this real life experience...


My sister has seen and analyzed Mr.Ghosh and her daughter through a certain angle...according to her nature.


On the other hand...those aunties, who have motherly feelings were much worried  about the pain and sufferings of that girl.


Those uncles, who are the head of the families and taking care of the financial issues from several years, were much worried about the financial burden that Mr.Ghosh has to bear.


what about me?...


From the time i have heard about that girl i was constantly trying to figure out which vegetables and exercises can help her to improve her body immunity and will help to fight the diseases, but when returned back from when i completed thinking about that issue for one hour i dropped the idea of suggesting anything to Mr.Ghosh, coz why he will listen to me? who am i ? i am not a professional body builder not even i am a certified  nutritionist, yes some people have got benefits getting suggestions from me coz they personally know me from several years and my attachment to physical exercise but Mr.Ghosh knows nothing about me, so naturally he will ignore me, i have experienced it earlier, so i had to drop the idea.


















Wednesday, 16 May 2018

Ghost/Spirit/Devil---A Real Life experience

Top post on IndiBlogger, the biggest community of Indian Bloggers
So far my experience is concerned about ghost...i have never SEEN them.

probably its the natural basic instinct of every human being that everyone becomes curious about ghost, to see them, to experience their existence at least one time in their life. so i also been driven out by this instinct during the last phase of my school life almost once upon a time, those days conquering my fear i was gradually being a boy of brave heart and strong mind(In case of Ghosts, not human beings), now a days when i think about my days of fear for ghost i feel to laugh out at myself coz now i know human beings can be more harmful than the ghosts.



So, those days i started to find out a place where i can see them, asked lots of people and my friends and at the end of more than one year of searching what i realized is...whenever its about ghost, some people will inform you about a certain place where you can see them but at the end the speaker will disappoint you showing certain reasons,like...the haunted house is no more or will take you there but never will be or they will inform that due to new houses has been built around in that area so you will hardly find any spirit there.


But today what i am gonna share is not a work of fiction...
from last two three months i have been addicted to horror movies, Conjuring(all the parts), Insidious, The unborn and many other movies i have watched, the result it has caused is...the electricity bill of our house has been increased three times, my family members were in shock for this sudden increase, actually what happened is...from the day i have started watching the horror movies the lights in my room , in the dining and of the bathroom remains on for the entire night...there should be no darkness...


when i was in this addiction that time one day i visited Chetan's house, he came here in this week ends,due to work load its not possible for him to visit his house every week end, so that day when i visited his house Aunty invited me for the dinner, when there is chicken i don't perform any formality and accept the invitation immediately. it was around 10 PM when we took our chairs,i know its not the good habit to talk during eating but Chetan is a very "slow eater"(as i call him) so naturally conversation started and the discussion about Ghost gradually raised,i expressed my interest to see the Ghosts, Aunty was busy in kitchen, Chetan was listening to me very curiously, that time Aunty joined our discussion, while taking the chair she said


...i have never seen Ghosts but there is a sudden experience in my life,i think you will be interested to listen


Then she looked at Chetan and said


...i thought i should share this with you much ago but i did not find any logic to share, specially when we are not attached with that place.


Chetan asked curiously


...Place? which place?


Aunty smiled and replied


...A place related to you, let me share my experience.


With a short gap she looked at me and she started


...Those days we were living in our village, it was summer days when one day around 11:30 am i was busy to complete my works in the kitchen, Chetan and his father both were in school, my mother-in-law was taking sun bath in the first floor after oiling her legs and hands. that time someone knocked at the door,when i opened the door i found a monk like person, dressed in saffron wear and a Trishul in his hand, i thought probably he is a beggar and will ask for food grains or money but  the person asked for some water, i thought may be he is thirsty that's why asking for water and later will ask for money so at first i went to the kitchen to take  a glass of  water and then went to my room and took some money also, when i returned i saw he was totally drown in his thoughts, he was looking at the south west corner of our house....


Here i must inform you the structure of Chetan's house in village which i have visited three four times and stayed for few hours...


Entering through the main door(wooden door) in the left side(east direction) there is a long Varandah perpendicular to the door , the Varandah is attached with two rooms situated at right angles to each other, at the end of the varandah  there is kitchen(South east direction). In the right side a huge place contains different types of plants and trees...yes this is the garden, there is a mango tree at the right side of the entrance approximately ten feet from the door, during summer season the tree is reached with delicious mangoes, after the garden almost in the south west direction the bathroom is situated,as it used to happen in old days, the bathroom used to be separate from house.


Aunty continued


...i knocked him two times "baba" "baba" but he did not respond, i was surprised with his gesture and non-moving appearance, knocked again and then he responded, he was thinking something very deeply, took the glass of water from me, when he finished i expected he will ask for money but he did not. then he looked at me and said


...if i suggest you something will you listen to me?


i requested him earnestly to suggest whatever he thinks better for us, he replied with a calm voice


...If possible arrange a puja for this house, the griha shanti puja(worship for the peace of the house)


i asked very curiously and politely the reason behind it.
he replied


...there is some devil power i can sense in the South west corner of your house...
Aunty just finished it Chetan screamed out loudly


...what are you saying?


he shouted out so loudly that the chicken piece which i was about to take into my mouth fallen down in the plate, Aunty was looking at him with extended eyes and uncle asked angrily from the bedroom "why are you shouting at this time of night?" 


Chetan continued lowering his voice


...what are you saying mom?


why are you being so surprised?...aunty asked curiously


...you know from my very childhood days i have always felt an errie feelings whenever i used to look at that corner of house, i thought may be because i am afraid of ghosts but later when i grew up,crossed the age of fifteen the fear of ghosts totally vanished but still whenever i used to look at that corner i felt something unusual, you will not believe but two years back when i visited our village house(i accompanied Chetan) i still felt the same.


Aunty was listening to Chetan but did not react much, she continued


...yes, i can understand your feelings, that monk suggested me to arrange a puja but also informed me that he has felt the existence of a powerful devil power there, he informed that a single puja will hardly bring any change and to make me realize the effects he said..."no one in this house will live a peaceful and properous life, everyone will go through very tough situations and alwyas face problems in life which will lead to a pathetic ending" and yes he was right  all the people who has spent their lives in that house has always faced unexpected problems in life and the ones who has left that house their lives has changed suddenly, though none of them has performed any other effort or hard work for the up-fitments, they just continued their works and prosperity and peace started to shower their life with lots of blessings.
Taking a short pause she started again...
I thought  the monk suggested me for the puja so that he can make some earnings but surprisingly neither he took money that day nor i have seen him later.

Chetan is one of my closest friends so naturally i know the history of his family,Aunty did not exaggerated the story neither she took help of lie to establish the existence of that devil, rather she just shared her expedience.








Disclaimer:- For the privacy concern the names of the characters have been changed.




Thursday, 10 May 2018

Love & Lies By Mansi Mittal

Ripped my soul

and Tour my heart

All my life i thought

Love was an art.

I promised myself,

when i find my man

i will give him all the love,

That i possibly can.

One day he came,

My knight in shining armour

with happiness,

more than i could ever harbour.

he promised me

We would stay together forever

Little did i know

Together would last for a year or two

That love can also be swiped right and left too

my love was crushed with the hammer of lies

All of which was dressed under a deceptive smile.






Mansi Sharma Mittal is a blogger and a content writer who has worked with prominent brands. Her work has been published in Anthology 'The Seasons '. She also blogs at various parenting sites. She is currently working on her manuscript.To regularly blogs through
Lyflikedat.wordpress.com
A mother by heart and a writer by soul is what defines her most.