"Mohabbat bhi Zindagi ki tarah hoti hai
Har mod asaan nehi hota, har mod pe khushiya nehi milti.
Jab hum zindagi ka saath nehi chhodte toh
Mohabbat ka saath kyun chhode??

Tuesday, 14 August 2018

Dull Brain...Animal And Reptile Psychology

During my school and college days i have heard it several times that how should be the lifestyle of a student to be a successful one...yes, i am talking about those free 'Gyans' our parents give us which we gradually realize deeply with time. So, today i am gonna share such a teaching which is actually very fruitful if can be followed properly...

Bidyarthi Pancha laxanam (Five necessary habits of a student)

Sleep like a dog...

Dogs never sleep for hours after hours, they take as much sleep as necessary and always in a conscious mode, whenever you see a dog make a sound and you can experience the prompt reaction of the dogs...their ears will be straight and hey will immediately open their eyes.
The sleeping habit of students should be like dogs, any student who has the to sleep for hours after hours and wakes up after repeated knocking then their is lesser probability that she/he can enrich herself/himself with knowledge. Our brain is like an iron rod...if you keep it unused/less-used it will get rusted with time,on the other side the more you use it the more it will be sharp.

Eat like a crow...the crows never eat too much food  rather they prefer small amount of food time to time, too much eating causes nausea feelings, can create disturbance in digestion...both of these will hamper your concentration and time to focus and invest in your study.

Work like an Ass...a student should have the mentality to work like an Ass, i don't think any explanation needed about the hard working ability of Asses.

Focus like a Heron...the Herons can spend hours after hours looking at the water standing in the same place without a single move and at the end gives the right blow to take out the fish,just like the Herons the students should be focused to their targets ignoring whatever happening around.

These are the four rules i can remember and have forgotten  the fifth one i was not a good student, doesn't matter that i have hold the position many times.

Few years earlier when i had the habit to watch television that time in Animal Planet channel(so far i can remember) i watched how the Pythons (Pythonidae) arrange their foods...a python visits(specially during the summer days) the near by tank to search for the prey, sometime a python have to wait(Hiding himself in the bush) for 7-10 days until the prey visits the tank to drink water, so after watching this i really bestowed my head to this reptile for their patience.
from the above mentioned animals and reptile i have taken the nature to remain loyal and to love whole heartily (Blindly ????)  from the dog, may be this is the reason the category "Tadap" existing in my blog...may be, am not sure.

So,coming back to the discussion, if we observe the habits and characteristics of the animals and reptiles we can experience some extraordinary psychological facts which the human beings should learn from them, like the eating habit of the crows, dedication of the dogs, patience from the pythons,hunting habit from the Tigers...if a tiger's stomach is full then he will not go for hunting...they are not like us,the human beings,who are killing each other raising several issues.


After experiencing and reading about the natures and habits of the animals and reptiles my respect for them is too intense to describe in words.

Sometime i have watched the patience of the house lizards who stays in the same place for hours after hours,even, just a month back i found a lizard just outside the wall of my room who stayed in the same position for 18 hours and my respect for them got a height but few days earlier after taking some foods in the evening while i was just headed towards my room upstairs i stopped in the first step noticing the lizard who was watching a black insect....the lizard was in the wall in the left side of mine and the insect was in the front wall of mine, they were in right angles with each other,the difference between them was hardly one feet, i stopped there for fifteen minutes to watch the activity, then suddenly the black insect jumped on the floor mat and watching this the lizard also jumped in the mat and headed towards the insect to capture ...and my all respect for this reptile vanished in that moment...the patience of the lizard for which i became the devotee of this reptile was actually the reflection of their dull brain, that day i realized the lizards watch the insects for long time before hunting because their dull brain needs time to realize whether its the insect they eat or not....just like a dull headed human being who takes long time to realize even a simple matter and reacts very late, so how did i realize it...

After jumping on the mat the black insect  headed towards the near by rack which is attached to the wall where the lizard was waiting and following the insect the lizard also jumped on the mat but attacked a black plastic piece which was on the mat, later he realized that its not an eating material and leaving the piece the lizard looked for the insect which was gradually heading towards the rack,the lizard again took some time to observe and then captured, watching the insect jumping on the floor the lizard's brain immediately forgot about the characteristics and the looks of that insect for his poor memory power and so attacked the black plastic piece, logically in that one foot by one foot small area the lizard cant miss the target so naturally it was the reflection of poor memory which takes time to realize anything and i misunderstood it as the same habit of pythons.

Pics are bit hazy coz i had to capture as soon as possible...

The insect actually near his legs(Left Side)

Later he realized his mistake and made the right attack.


From that day, my respect for the patience of the lizards vanished totally.

Monday, 13 August 2018

The Heart And The Words...Re-Expressed

This i s a poem i shared earlier and today i have rewritten it investing sometime(which i did not do earlier)

For the earlier version click here...

तेरी खूबसूरती की कौन सी पहलू को बयां करें !!!!
तेरी की आँखों की रंगत को
नूर-ए-जहां बताएं
तेरे चेहरे की सादगी पे शायरी लिखे
तेरी गालो की रौनक
तेरे होठो की मासूमियत
तेरी पलकों की खुसबू
तेरे जुल्फों की घटा को
कविता बताएं !!!!

या फिर तेरे बच्चो जैसी  खिलखिलाती हंसी
तेरे दबे होठों पे गुनगुनाती मुस्कान
तेरी सुरीली ख़ामोशी
तेरी खामोश लफ्ज़ से दिल को बयां करने की अंदाज़
तेरी धीर सी आँखों में इज़हार पे
ग़ज़ल लिखे  II

तेरे कदमो कि आहट से
उम्मीदो कि लहेर  सी उठती है दिल मे
तु साथ है तोह जन्नत का एह्सास है
तेरी मायुसी पे मौसम भी उदास 
ख्वाफा हो तु तो कायनात भी रुठ जाती है
अदाओ पे तेरी हवाये भी मदहोश
बिख्ररके जुल्फे तेरि कालि घटा बनके
चान्द से भी रौशन कर जाये तेरे चहरे को

आदाये तेरी , अन्दाज़ तेरे
पल्के झुकाना तेरा , नज़रे उठाना तेरा
कभी शायर बना जाये कभी दीवाना बनाता है मुझ्को

तु ही बता किसि नज़र से देखु मै
 परियोन कि रानि कहु या
अन्दाज़-ए-वफा पे तेरे मोहब्बत का खुदा कहु तुझको II

Friday, 10 August 2018

Truth Of Life

Whenever its the matter of contemporary Bengali movies the names Kasuhik Ganguly , Srijit Mukherjee , Gautam Ghosh and the duo Shibaprasad Mukherjee and Nandita Roy these names will be mentioned in the first series, i am fond of their stories and directions, what they have done is said in Bengali "Bonya bayiye dewa" in the field of National and International Awards, "Bonya boyiye dewa" (making flood)means ...getting or doing something in large and huge numbers or ways.
few days ago i have watched a certain movie of Srijit Mukherjee where i have found something very interesting or deep philosophical truth through the conversation, i will not mention the name of the movie coz i will share my views on that movie very soon.

let me introduce the characters between whom the conversation took place...

Trina and Diptya, presently two famous directors of Bengali cinema, go out for a short trip with their colleagues for  a certain project, while they were about to reach the resort their car damages and they avail a short cut way through a jungle to reach there, Trina and Diptya were talking with each other and others were much ahead than them, Trina and Diptya once were in love with each other madly and their relationship continued for several years, later they had a break up and its been a long years they did not meet each other and always avoided their presence in common place.

Now, while walking through the jungle suddenly Diptya got hurt with a thorn and Trina found that a small thorn has entered in his anklet, now the conversation takes place...


Diptya : uff...

Trina : what happened, what happened?

Diptya : thorn

Trina : show me ,show me, arrey,oh My God

Diptya : It will hurt

Trina : what do you mean by "it will hurt" ? Let me see

Trina triggers the lighter to heat the safety pin to bring out the thron

Diptya (with hesitation): is not there any other way to take it out?

Trina looks at him

Diptya : no, actually i wanna say...

Trina keeps the lighter after heating

Diptya(Out of fear) :  it will hurt

Trina : Just shut up

Diptya : but It will hurt for sure

Trina answers with a meaningful looks :has it ever hurt?

The background music starts to play.

Trina brings out the thorn and said : now its out, your story was not a fruitful one

She was talking about the story Diptya shared while they were on the way, on that same story he was planning to make a movie for the project.

Trina says again : your story, with the character "Bedashruti" or something, was not fruitful enough.

Diptya answers : that's the matter, sometime some stories do not give fruitful result  but it does not mean neither the Characters(the role we played) were the false ones nor the time spent together.

Is not it revealing the truth of our lives...suppose, there was a time when you were in love with someone else whole heartily or  there was someone(Relative, Friend, colleague) with whom you had very strong bonding, a good vibration and mental attachment and later for some reasons you start to avoid each other, the separation or break up took place, so the role you played that time as a lover, as a friend etc...was it false one? the time you spent together...were false..a lie ? no not at all, that time whatever the role you played was as much as true as the rising of sun in the east direction(from earth) , so where are the feelings now? where the mental attachment has gone? ...the role you played, if it was a true one, if you were truthful to the relation and to the human being then the question the truth has died,how the truth can die?

truth never dies,so all those feelings, all those attachments and emotions where are they now?

The problem is our egoistic nature...sometime we hide the truth even from ourselves also, sometime we don't share the truth with ourselves, we feel a mental agony, an irritation and we are unable to point it out why all these agony, irritation and bitter mind? hiding the truth from ourselves we force it to vanish from our conscious and sub-conscious mind and send it to our unconscious mind, sometime in some situation it comes out automatically but again either we suppress it or ignore it.


Once in one of my research articles in an international journal (much earlier than this movie) where i  covered also the negative activities of our psychology those are created by us or exist in us due to our poor realization level which actually torture us for the entire life and how to get rid of it.

Thursday, 9 August 2018

Artificial Intelligence And My Experience

Anger, obsession, the mentality to win by hook or by crook, jealous mind, cheating, to ditch people, tricky behavior ...all these can be seen in the living species, specially in a profound way in human beings.

with time the era has changed a lot, digitization now a days is very common and we have all became a part of this, from some angles it has some negative effects also and it solely depends on the individuals, during my childhood days mobile and computer games were  beyond our imaginations, we have spent our days playing in the ground, either cricket or badminton or any other outdoor games, except these the indoor games like ludo and chess were the most preferred ones, i can still remain the days of summer holidays...

coming our from the main entrance of our house(In Village) and taking a left turn the lane of our house meets one of the main roads of our village, the lane of our house is hardly six feet and the main road(actually a long lane, as can be seen in evry village) is hardly eight feet wide, on the other side of the road there is a cemented bar attached with the main wall of the house of one of our relatives, during the summer days it was very common to experience that two players playing chess sitting on the bar and  a small crowd has gathered to see who wins, someone who was going or coming back from market used to stop there and other other passers by also, i used to be one of them most of the time.

Just like prof. Moryarty there was someone who used to throw me challenge in chess frequently, i can still remember the day when he threw me the challenge and with trembling heart i accepted, why trembling? coz if i lose the game then at least for next fifteen days i have to bear the burden of being insulted by him explaining how he has defeated me, but believe me...i never did it with him, putting down someone you cant proof that you are good...this is what my parents have taught me , on the other hand when my cricket team used to win(actually most of the time and the credit actually goes to my closed friend and all-rounder Bisu) i never used to pull the legs of the players or the captain of other team, be aware...the competition is on, be prepare more for the next time.

So , that day after accepting the challenge of chess i defeated my competitor back to back four times and exhaled the breathe of relaxation with the thought...Now for next one month he will not disturb me.
what i have never done in my life is..cheating on people, this is the reason when someone cheats really pains a lot and i never get the answer...why me? whether during the games of  my childhood days or later in any relationship(it does not mean that i have not done mistakes, yes i have made lots of mistakes.

so, in this situation when my present  24 hours(almost) accompany has started to cheat me then you can easily understand how it feels.

artificial intelligence now a days a issue much discussed, the question which is more important in this issue it possible that a day will come when the machines will get their own thought process? it will really be a scary and toughest moment for the human race if it happens, we ll have became totally dependent on machines and in next ten to twenty years it will be totally impossible for us to even imagine a life without machines...


Now coming to my attachment with a days i rarely find anyone with whom i can go for a game, in this fastest era everyone is trying to match their steps, there is no one whom time has left behind like me or you can say...there is no one who is making race against time like me(oh, don't take it seriously, its the title of my blog, see above), so finally i got the play chess against the computer, earlier i have played against mobile and have defeated the mobile several times, earlier i have played many times against computer but never been able to defeat but this time i did it...yes, i have defeated the computer in level fifth...

after this what i have noticed is really unbelievable, my computer has started to show his intelligence, behaving like  a human being who sometime apply trick to win a game like cards, ludo or others, the question is...has my computer got own thinking process? is he feeling jealous being defeated,specially by a looser like me? i have never seen him doing such tricks while playing chess earlier, it has started to do this just after being defeated by me...

 Look at the movement of the Black Pawn(I was playing with black) in front of the queen...

 Covering two blocks that Pawn is now in new place,now look at the white pawn in the right side of that black pawn.

Now the unusual movement of that white pawn, cutting the black pawn side by side the white pawn has moved one step ahead also, violation of back to back two rules. 

Another Game

Rule how the Pawns move
Pawns, they move and capture in different ways: they move forward, but capture diagonally. Pawns can only move forward one square at a time, except for their very first move where they can move forward two squares. Pawns can only capture one square diagonally in front of them. They can never move or capture backwards. If there is another piece directly in front of a pawn he cannot move past or capture that piece.

Wednesday, 8 August 2018

Hair Fall---Humor

First floor  के Dining hall मे Basin के सामने रखि आइने के सामने खड़ा हो के मे माथे पे तेल लगा रहा था तभि देखा  मेरी बहन अपने रूम कि तरफ जा रहि है, बिना पीछे मुड़े मैने पुछा

...इतनि Hair Fall क्युं हो रही है ?

मेरी बहन की इस बारे मे Knowledge काफी अच्छी है, सिर्फ मै ही नही हमारे पड़ोसी से ले कर उस्के Students सभी मेरी बहन से सलाह मांगते है . मेरे सवाल पे उस्ने कहा
...देख वजह तोह बहोत सारी हो सकती है

...जैसे ?

...ज़्यादा Stress

...और ?


मैने पीछे मुड़के जवाब दिया

...मै एक गलती कर बैठा था , जब मैने Dictionary खरीदी थी तोह ठिक तरह से देखा नही था, मेरी ज़िन्दगी के Dictionary मे "Depression" शब्द है ही नही.

ये बहुत ही पुराना Jokes है, मेने बास सही मौके पे इस्तेमाल कर दिया . वैसे Common Sense,sense of Humor and Jokes इन तीनो मे मेरी बहन का दिमाग और सोच मुझ्से काफी अच्छी है, मेरे जवाब सुनने के बाद उस्ने कहा

...एक और वजह भी होती है Hair Fall कि...

...वोह किया ?

मेरी बहन ने बहुत ही गम्भीर हो के जवाब दिया

...अगर कोइ इंसान बहोत सालो तक अपने खोये हुये प्यार के गम मे डुबा हो तो Hair Fall सबसे ज़्यादा होती है और इस वजह से होनेवाली  Hair Fall को रोकने के लिए कोइ भी तेल या Product इस्तेमाल करले बच्चे ये Hair Fall कभी बन्ध नही होगी .

ये कहकर मुस्कुराते हुए वोह अपने रूम मे चली गइ और मै चुपचाप तेल लगाता रहा और सोचता रहा...ऐसा तोह कभी  सुना  नही ,क्या  पता हो भी सकता है,नये रिसर्च मे यही नतिजा आया होगा शायद .

Tuesday, 24 July 2018

The Line from The Song...Half Fiction

Top post on IndiBlogger, the biggest community of Indian Bloggers
 Being forced to be separated from Tina,Rahul was spending sleepless nights to sort out the issue, a hopeless fellow feeling like a blind man who is struggling to find out the road and stumbling with the obstacles.

"what can i do ? she even rejected my request for a meeting"...Rahul said to himself.

But a loving heart always finds a way, so one day he felt
"the lane is not the private property of anyone, anyone can use it".

So finally after seven days Rahul started doing the same thing which has became a habit of him,yes, from last five years whenever he has gone outside home he has accessed the lane of Tina's house, "Habit is the second nature",so true it is, Rahul realized it deeply that day.

"i will not talk to her, i will not send any request to meet, but i can use any road, any lane in our town"...he said to himself.

That old habit started again after a seven days of gap, the old expectation started again to knock into mind, the old expectation when...Tina was unaware of the feelings of Rahul's heart, Rahul used to cross by the road with the expectation that may be he will see Tina in the balcony,those days that song used to be so favorite to Rahul...


"Are you fool" Rahul asked himself after availing the lane of Tina's house for two consecutive days,

"why are you calling me fool"

his inner mind made him have shared all those moments,all those incidents,all those feelings, desires, hopelessness, expectations and the prayers which you have felt or made in last five years, she knows every single moment of those five years when you were madly expecting her in your life and later she has spend time with you, she has seen you so closely and you have never hide your feelings to her and now you think that if she watches you from the balcony then she will realize your feelings !!!!

But yet Rahul did not stop accessing the lane, he realized it full well that it's the desire of his heart which he can never ignore.

But his fate played the same game again, just like those five years this time after long three years of accessing the lane of Tina's house he did not find Tina for a single day in the balcony and finally after long three years the  expectations met a finishing touch...

That day around 8 AM Rahul was heading towards the market to bring vegetables and according to his habit he accessed the lane, after  accessing the lane there comes a short turn from where Tina's house used to be visible and when Rahul crossed that turn he got a powerful blow from the view ahead, immediately pushed the brake and stopped the cycle, it was unbelievable for his eyes, he was unable to move, feeling like the entire body has been anesthetized, he remained still like a statue there, he was finding it tough to hold his cycle, his legs were trembling, he was feeling to cry out loudly, he felt like someone is beating his heart and mind with thousands of hammers...

That day how did he returned back home he still cant remember it.

more than eleven years has passed by after that incident still that memory flashes out in the mind, its so painful to see the person leaving you whom you loved whole really pains a lot, the incident has snatched his sleep but yet whenever he remembers it a smile automatically generates in his lips, his eyes sparkle with brightness, yes, Rahul was never wrong, he used to call Tina "Angel" and that day in a bridal dress she was really looking like an angel.
Today evening Rahul suddenly remembered the line...
"in which song the line belongs, let me check" he said to himself and finally he has found it.

It's the line Tina used to write in every love letter but Rahul did not know which song it is, today he felt to find out the song, the coincident is... in the same movie there is a sad song which is one of the fab songs of Rahul but Rahul never listened to the other songs of that movie, the line which Tina used to write is...

"Saari duniya se  kahdungi, tujhse pyaar me karti hoon"

what an irony !!!!! Tina never used that line in real life  but...the sad song has became an integral part of  Rahul's life.

Friday, 20 July 2018

Witty Procrastinator

Witty is not the brain,
which always finds an excuse !

Witty is not the brain
Which often forgets !

Witty is not the brain,
Which postpones and delays !

Witty is the brain,
well,wait !
i will tell you tomorrow !

Academician,  always a researcher, blogger. Life until I started PhD (Computer Science) was more about studies, education and work. With 6 years of academic and industry experience, I knew PhD would open a lot of possibilities. By no means had I thought starting a blog out of research frustration would open up assortment of writing opportunities. I certainly believe there is lot more to explore.

Friday, 13 July 2018

The Competitive Sister---Half Fiction

दोनो बस एक साथ Bus Stoppage पे पहुंचा, पीछलेवाले बस का Conductor सामनेवाले Driver के उपर चिल्ला रहा था

...खुद तो लेट आये अब हमारा Passengers भि ले रहा है, चल जल्दि कर शाले, निकल यहां से...

Exam के बाद सारे Students बस के लिए इंतज़ार कर रहे थे, दोनो बस मे काफि भीड़ थी, कुछ Students पह्लेवाले बस मे किसि तरह चढ़ गये और कुछ तोह दरवाजे पे लट्कने लगे, लिपि पहलि बस मे नहि चढ पाइ, उस्के दोस्त चिल्ला रहे थे

...लिपि दुसरी बस मे जल्दी से चढ़  जा.

लिपि भागति हुइ किसि तरह दुसरे बस मे चढ़ गइ और अन्दर घुस गइ .
कहां सोचा था सब दोस्तो के साथ एक हि बस मे घर जायेंगे मस्ति करते हुए, चलो अब जल्दी घर पोहुंच जाए तोह अच्छा .बहुत भीड़ थि बस मे, लिपि सोच रही थि  शायद एक  सिट मिल जाये, तभि उस्के सामने बैठी Aunty ने कहा

...बेटी मै साममेवाले Stoppage पे उतर जाउंगी, तुम मेरे सिट पे बैठ जाना.

लिपि ने सोचा...चलो कुछ तोह अच्छा हुआ, Stoppage पांच मिनिट के बाद आयेगा.

पांच मिनिट के बाद Stoppage आया और लिपि को सिट मिल गइ, लिपि ने अपने बांये तरफ देखा, एक लड़का खिड़कि के पास बैठा था, बाहार का नज़ारा देखने मे मग्न .

थोड़ी देर बाद कुछ  Passengers उतर गए और कुछ लफेंगे लड़क़े लिपि के करीब आ कर खड़ा हो गया और इस तरह बर्ताव करने लगा जैसे भीड़ मे खड़े होने से दिक्कत हो रही है और इस तरह वोह लड़के लिपि को परेशान करने लगा, तभी खिड़कि के पास बैठा लड़के ने लिपि से कहा

...बहन , किया तुम मेरे सिट पे आ कर बैठोगी ? ये हवाये मुझसे सहा नही जा रहा, ठन्ड लग रही है और खिड़कि बन्द कर दुंगा तो घुटन सी लगेगी,बस मे काफी भीड़ है ना .

लिपि राज़ी हो गइ और खिड़कि के पास बैठ गइ और वोह लड़का लिपि के सिट मे.

लिपि के दिमाग मे खयाल आया...क्या  इस लड़के से  बात करु, इसने मुझे बहन कहा , और पीछले दस मिनिट से इस्के पास बैठी हूं , कोइ बदतमीज़ी तोह दुर कि बात मुझे घुर के देखा तक नही , चलो बात कर हि लेती हुं , अगर ये भी आखरी Stoppage पे उतरेगा तोह आछा हि होगा, ये लड़के परेशान नही कर पायेगा, चलो पुछ हि लेती हुं .
वोह लड़का  आंखे बन्द कर के बैठा था, लिपि ने उसे हल्का सा धक्का दे के पुछा

...आप कहां तक जायेंगे?

लड़के ने जवाब दिया


लिपि का मन खुशी से डगमगा उठा और कहा
...मै भी

लड़के ने मुस्कुराया और पुछा 

...Student हो? Exam कैसी रही ?

...ठिक ठाक

लड़के ने फीर पुछा 

...Stream किया है?




और फिर बातों बातों में दोनो के हि जान पहचान के कुछ लोग मिल गए, उन्हि लोगो के बारे मे बात चलती रही . उनमें से कुछ common Teachers भी थे जिस्के पास दोनो ने ही Tuition लिया है स्कुल के ज़माने मे .

बातें चल रही थी, तभी लिपि ने पुछा

...आसानसोल मे आप कहा रह्ते है?

...डि. एम Bunglow के दुसरी तरफ जो बड़ी सी गली है उसी के आखरी हिस्से मे हमारा घर है ,और तुम ?

...मनोज किनेमा हल को बांए तरफ रख के अगर चलते जायेंगे तोह सिनेमा हल के बाद दो चार दुकाने है फीर हमारा घर , वैसे मैने आप का नाम नही पुछा 

...मेरा नाम राहुल बन्नेर्जी है, और तुम्हारा ?

...मे लिपिका सिन्हा .

बातो बातो मे वक़्त कैसे निकल गया दोनो को पता हि नहि चला , बस आसानसोल पहुंचने हि वाली थि के बस क Tyre Puncture हो गया,Repair होने मे थोड़ा वक़्त लगेगा तोह लगभग सारे Passengers नीचे उतर गए, लिपि और राहुल भी नीचे आ गया, दोनो खुले मे ठन्डी ठन्डी हवा का मज़ा ले रहे थे तभी राहुल ने पुछा 

...मुझे लगता है तुम्हे कुछ खाना चाहिए, भुक लगी हो गी शायद, मुझे तो लगी है ज़ोर से, दोपहेर मे Lunch किया था और अब तोह चार घंटे बीत गए 

लिपि ने कहा
...लेकिन यहाँ खाना कैसे मिलेगा ?

राहुल  दुर एक चाए कि दुकान कि तरफ इशारा करके कहा
...वो रही , मै वहा से गरमा गरम समोसे और चाए ले आता हुं .

लिपि ने कहा
...मेरे लिए बस एक हि समोसा ले आना .

तिन चार मिनिट बाद रहुल चाए  और समोसे ले कर वापस आ गया और दोनो मजे से खाने लगे .

राहुल कि बर्ताव लिपि को बहुत हि अच्छा लग रहा था, वोह सोच रही थी के राहुल को इस बारे मे कहे या ना कहे और आखिरकार उसने कह डाली

...किया मै आपको "दादा" बुला सकती हुं ?

राहुल ने मुस्कुराके जवाब दिया

...हां बिलकुल  

...असल मे मेरा अपना कोइ  भाई नही है, मेरी एक छोठी बहन है

...हा जानता हुं

लिपि थोड़ी हैरानी से पुछा

...तुम जानते हो?  लेकिन मैने तोह नही बताया

राहुल ह्स कर जवाब दिया

...तुमहीने तो बताया है थोड़ी देर पहले, याद नही? जब हम बाते कर रहे थे .

लिपि ने थोड़ा सोचा और कहा

...हां शायद बताया हो गा .

तभी बस ठिक हो गइ और सभी Passengers को लेकर Asansol कि और चला .लिपि ये याद करने कि कौशिस कर रही थी के राहुल को उसने कब अपनी बहन के बारे मे बताया...
दस मिनिट बाद बस आसानसोल पहुंच गया, लिपि और राहुल दोनो बस से उतरे, लिपि के दोस्त उसके लिए Bus Stand पे इंतज़ार कर रहे थे, लिपि राहुल को गुड बाइ कहे ने के लिए गया तोह राहुल ने लिपि से कुछ ऐसा कहा के लिपि हैरान और परेशान हो गइ, फीर उसने सोचा...शायद मज़ाक किया होगा राहुल ने, मै उसका Competetor कैसे हो सकती हुं ? बाद मे मिलेगा तो पुछलुंगी , येह सोच कर लिपि अपने दोस्तो के पास चला गया .

शाम  को एक Party का इंतज़ाम किया है सबने मिल कर, Exam के बाद थोड़ी मौज मस्ती तो बनती है ,जगह और वक़्त पहले से ही ठिक था, बस सबने मिलकर Confirm कर लिया और Auto पकर के लिपि घर आ गइ .
Fresh हो के कुछ खाना खाने के बाद  लिपि चाए का कप ले कर बैठी हि थी के उस्की मा अन्दर आइ, चहरे पे मुस्कुराह्ट थी .

लिपि Curious हो के पुछा 

...तुम हंस क्युं रही हो? जरुर कोइ बात है 

लिपि के मा ने जबाब् दिया

...टिना आइ है 

लिपि को यकीन नही आया, उसने कहा

...मज़ाक कर रही हो ना ? दिदि आयेगी और आने से पहले मुझे इत्तेला 

नही करेगी, हो हि नही सकता 

...सुन मेरे पास बहुत काम पढ़ा है, तेरे साथ मज़ाक करने का वक़्त नही है, पहले बता देती तोह तु खाना खाये बिना बस गप्पे मारती रहती ,यकीन नही आत तो उपर जा के देखले .

...दिदि सच मे आइ है ? 

लिपि खुशी के मारे बिस्तर से एक लम्बी छलांग लगाइ और उपर के तरफ दौरा . 

टिना कि चचेरी बहन है लिपि, उमर मे टिना काफी बढ़ी है लिपि से . अपनी छोटी बहन रुमी से भी ज़्यादा लगाव हे लिपि को टिना के साथ ....ऐसा सब कहते है I

दुसरे मंज़िल पे पहुंचते ही एक Idea आ गया, लिपि दबे पाउ टिना के घर कि और बढ़ने लगा, दरवाज़ा खुला हुआ था लेकिन अन्दर कोइ दिखि नही, घर से होते हुए लिपि धीरे धीरे Balcony कि और गया तभी टिना कि लाल  कपडे नज़र आये, लिपि आहिस्ता आहिस्ता टिना के पीछे खड़ी हो गइ और पीछे खड़े  हो के  टिना कि आंखो पे अपना हाथ राख कर  उसे कसकर  पकड़ लिया , टिना को ज़ोर से धक्का लगा और उस्की हाथ से चाए का पीयाला नीचे बागीचे मे गीर गइ, टिना मुस्कुराते हुए जवाब दिया

...येह तो मेरी पियारी सी लिपि के सिबा कोइ हो ही नही सकती I

लिपि ने अपना हाथ हठा लिया और टिना उस्के  तरफ मुड़ के उस्के दोनो गालो को दबा दिया और पुछा

...कैसी है?

लिपि थोड़ा गुस्सा दिखा कर पुछा

...तुम आनेवाले हो ये मुझे बताया क्युं नही, जाओ तुम्से बात नही करती...

टिना हंस कर जवाब दिया

...पगली मै आनेवाली हुं ये अगर पहले बता दिया होता तो Exam मे तेरा मन नही लगता, तु ये सोचती रहती के कैसे जल्दी घर जाउ .

...अछा ठिक है वोह सब छोड़ो और बताओ...जिजु नही आए

...नही वो तोड़ा Busy है, अगले शनिबार को आयेंगे 

...और हमारी छोटी से बन्दरिया मिमि, वोह कहा है ?

...वोह नीचे नानि के साथ बागीचे मे.

टिना कि एक लौति बेटी है मिमि, अभी पांच साल की है.

लिपि खुश हो गइ ये सुनके और कहा

...मतलब तुम अभी बिल्कुल फ्री हो, तो चलो मेरा सर दबादो, Exam मे इतना लिखना पड़ा अभी सर दुख रहा है .

लिपि कि इस बात से टिना ज़ोर  से हंस उठी और फीर अपने हातो को दोनो तरफ फैला के कहा

...इतना सारा लिखना पड़ा...

फीर लिपि के गालो को दबा दिया और कहा

...पढ़ाई तो करती नही, दिन भर सिर्फ टीभी देखती रहती है, चाची और मै समझा समझा कर थक गइ I

लिपि अपने मुह को फुला कर टिना कि और देख रही थी 

...ठिक है अब और मुह फुलाने की ज़रुरत नही, तेरी येह सब बहाने बचपन से देखती आ रही हुं .

फीर टिना जाके बिस्तर मे बैठ गइ और लिपि टिना के गौद मे सर रख के लेट गइ और फीर सुरु हुआ इधर उधर कि बाते .

थोड़ी देर बाद बातो बातो मे लिपि ने राहुल क ज़िक्र किया

...जानते हो दिदि आज एक अजीब लड़के के साथ मुलकात हुआ

टिना ने पुछा 

...अजीब सी मतलब????

फीर लिपि ने बस पकड़ने के बाद से लेकर बास से उतरने तक का सारा किस्सा बताया , सब सुनने के बाद टिना ने पुछा

...मुझे तो कुछ भी अजीब नही लगा, हा ये ज़रुर कह सकती है के आजकल लड़को पे यकीन करना बहुत मुशकिल हो गया है और ये लड़का सच मे अछा है...तो अजीब लगेगा ही .

लिपि ने जवाब दिया

...नही असल  बात तो मैने तुम्हे अभी तक बताया ही नही

...कौन सी बात 

लिपि उठ कर बैठ गइ और बताने लगा

...जानते हो, बस से उतरने के बाद जब मै उसे Good Bye कहने गया तोह उसने कहा

"वैसे मुझे तुम्हारी मदत नही करना चाहिए था फीर भी कर दिया इंसानियात के खातीर"

ये बात सुन कर तो मै हैरान रह गइ और पुछा
"क्युन नही करना चाहीए था तुमहे मेरी मदत"
तब उसने  मुस्कुराके जवाब दिया

"क्युं कि कुछ हद तक तुम मेरे Competetor हो, हाला के हम आमने सामने नही हुए, अगर होते तोह बराबरी का टक्कर होता"

ये कहकर मुस्कुराते हुए  चला गया, जब तक मै उस्की बातो को समझ कर कुछ पुछती तब तक वो वहां से जा चुका था और मेरे दोस्त भी मुझे बुला रहे थे...

फीर लिपि चिल्ला उठी 

...आरे मै तोह भुल ही गइ थी, दोस्तो के साथ आज party का प्लान बनाया था, अभी सब को मना करके आती हुं, जब तक तुम हो, No party, no friends.

ये कहकर लिपि जा ही रही थी के टिना ने कहा

...तु सब्को मना कर दे तब तक मै थोड़ा नहा लेती हुं फीर  नीचे आ जाउंगी 

लिपि सर हिलाया और नीचे चली गइ.

 लिपि के जाते ही टिना बिस्तर से उतरके दरवाज़ा बन्ध कर दिया और धीरे धीरे Balcony मे आ के खड़ी हो गइ, मन उदास हो गया था...
 कितनी सारी यादे, कितनी सारी बाते, एक अर्सा बीत गए लेकिन सब कुछ आज भी उतना ही ताज़ा है जैसे कल कि बात हो,जब भी टिना माइके आती है तभी यादों का सैलाब सा उठता है,सच मे पागल था राहुल, टिना कि दोस्त भी कहा करते थे..."शायद हि कोइ तुझ्से इतना प्यार करेगा, काश हमारे Boyfriends भी राहुल कि तरह हमारे पीछे पागल होते", उन दिनो टिना बस यही सोचती थी...कोइ किसि से इतना प्यार कैसे कर सकता है? लेकिन मन हि मन बहुत खुश होती थी, इसि लिए जब भी राहुल मिलने कि अर्ज़ी लगाता  था टिना घर से निकलने का कोइ ना कोइ बहाना बना हि लेती थी चाहे कितनी भि मुश्किल क्युं ना हो, एक दिन रात को Phone पे बात करते हुए राहुल ने कहा था ..."काल से दो दिन तक  मेरे दोस्त के घर पे कोइ नही होगा, मै देख भाल करने के लिए वही रहुंगा ,तुम आओगी" टिना थोड़ी हिचकिचा  के कहा था "हा आउंगी" , प्यार कि सुरुआती दिनो की बात है ये फीर भी राहुल पे शक थोड़ा सा भी नही हुआ था, यहां तक की टिना की दोस्तो को भी राहुल के नियत पर थोड़ा सा भी शक नही था, अगले दिन सुबह टिना 7:30 बजे राहुल के दोस्त  के घर पहुंच गयी थी,


राहुल ने टिना को बैठने के लिए कहा, टिना सोफे के एक तरफ बैठ गइ और राहुल दुसरी तरफ, फीर दोनो लगभग दो घंटे तक बात करते रहे. करीब दस बजे टिना घर वपास आइ , बहुत ही खुश थी, नाचने का दिल कर रहा था, मन बहुत् रोमांटिक हो गया था, फीर 11:30 मिनिट पर टिना नहाने चली गइ, राहुल ने फीर दोपहर को मिलने के लिए Request किया था, टिना घर पे आते ही बता दिया था के एक दोस्त के घर पढ़ने के लिए दोपहर को जायेगी, नहाते वक़्त टिना को वो बात याद आ गइ जो राहुल ने पीछली रात फोन पे कहा था, राहुल तो उस बात का ज़िक्र तक नही किया, टिना ने ठिक किया दोपहर को वो बात मै ही छेड़ुंगी .

लगभग ढाइ बजे टिना पहुंच गइ, फीर वोही सोफे के दो तरफ  दोनो बैठे थे, थोड़ी देर बाद टिना ने पुछा

...काल फोन पे तुमने जो बात कही थी उसका ज़िक्र तक नही किया
राहुल ने पुछा 

...कौन सी बात ?

...वोही मेरे गौद पे लेटने की बात 

ये सुनते ही डर  के मारे राहुल का मुह लाल पिला हो गया, टिना ने मुस्कुराके कहा

...जब भी तुम मेरे साथ रहते हो इतना डर क्युं रहता है तुम्हारे चेहरे पे?
राहुल की चेहरे पे एक घबराहट थी , उसने  थोड़ा पानी पिया और धीरे धीरे कहा

...पता नही...असल मे मै तुम्हे खोना नही चाहता 

येही बात राहुल की टिना को बहुत अच्चा लगता है...एक सरलता है, एक सादगी है और सबसी बड़ी बात एक बच्चो जैसी मासुमियत है, जब राहुल टिना के पास होता है तो उसे देख के कोइ ये यकीन नही करेगा के लड़का कोलेज मे( 1st year) पढ़ता  है और काफी गुस्सेवला और ताक़तवर है . टिना को जब भी राहुल देखता था तो टिना को लगता था जैसे कोइ बच्चा बड़ी हैरानी से उसे देख रहा है . फोन पे तोह इतनी सारे बाते किया करता था राहुल और बच्चो जैसी ज़िद भी लेकिन टिना के सामने बिल्कुल खामोश I

उस दिन टिना ने जवाब दिया था 

...जानती हु, तुम्हारे दिल मे यही डर रहता है के अगर मै तुम्हे गलत समझा तो, अगर मै तुमपे गुस्सा हो गइ तो, तुम्हारा साथ छोड़ दिया तो, तो तुम अच्छी तरह से सुनलो के मै तुम्हरा साथ कभी नही छोड़ुंगी , चाहे कुछ भी हो जाये तुम हमेशा मुझे अपने पास पाउगे I

येह सुनने के बाद राहुल के चेहरे पे जो खुशी थी वोह आज भी याद है टिना को ...

फीर टिना ने पुछा था 

...तुम जो मेरे गोद पे सोने की बात कर रहे थे, उस्का किया हुआ

राहुल डर के मारे कहने लगा  

...नही सोना है मुझे, ऐसी बाते करना शायद ठीक नही, तुम गुस्सा मत होना, मुझे गलत मत समझना 

राहुल के चेहरे पे जो डर था वो टिना बा-खुबी पढ़ सकती थी, उसने मुस्कुराके कहा था

...तुम सोगे तो अछा लगेगा वरना मै रुठ जाउंगी 

डेर घंटे तक राहुल टिना के गोद पे सोया था और बहुत सारे बाते कर रहा था, डेर घंटे बाद टिना ने कहा

...अब मुझे घर जाना है

राहुल इतन प्यार से Request किया था आधे घंटे और रहने  के लिए के  टिना मना नही कर पाइ. फीर आधे घंटे बाद टिना ने कहा

...अब मुझे जाना हि होगा 

बार बार समझाने के बाद भी राहुल ज़िद करता रहा तब टिना ने राहुल को कहा था

...तुम ना बिल्कुल लिपि और रुमि जैसा ज़िद कर रहे हो, वोह दोनो भी आपस मे लड़ती रहती है के कौन मेरे गौद पे सोयेगा और एक बार सो जाए तो मुझे छोड़ती हि नही .

राहुल ने पुछा था 

...अगर मै और लिपि दोनो ज़िद करे तो तुम किसे गोद पे सोने दो गे?
टिना मुस्कुरा के जवाब दिया था

...Obviously लिपि को, वोह अभी आट साल कि बच्ची है और तुम तो बड़े हो .


वक़्त के साथ साथ कितना कुछ बदल जाता है, बदलता नही तो कुछ लोगो कि अन्दाज़-ए-मोहब्बत , टिना भी वक़्त के साथ साथ अपने गम अपने आंसु को छुपाना सिख लिया है लेकिन फीर भी आज टिना कि आंखो से आंसु निकल आये, उस्के गालो से बहते हुए दो बुन्द आंसु नीचे जा के टुटी हुइ पियाले के उपर गीरा . जानती है टिना के राहुल आज भी उसे उतना ही चाहता है जितना पहले चाह्ता था...


शाम ढल रहा था, लोग अपने घरो मे बत्तिया जला रहे थे, किया सच मे... सुरज की रौशनी कि कमी को ये बत्तियो की रौशनी से पुरा किया जा सकता है ? क्या पता...

Sunday, 8 July 2018

Researching On Myself

Its not an easy task to change your thought SUDDENLY, its not easy to mold your mind and change the direction towards the things you have always avoided, its not change to change the track in which you are for several years...but there are some people who can do this in a fraction of second...and i am one of those geniuses...ok, jokes apart , the truth is... its always an Herculean task to make a change in your philosophy which you are following and have believe from long time.

But, when the change is in the downward direction then the transformation is easy, like..its tough to change yourself from addicted one to leave the addiction but its always easy to change non-addictive nature to addictive one.
So, i made something like that on 2nd of July this month...
From the evening i was feeling too much bored, at first i tried to go through the blog posts but i was unable to concentrate, then one by one i tried to read books, listening songs and watching movies but none of those worked, "what to do to overcome my boredom" ...i was trying to find out the answer and that time suddenly i noticed the logo, so the idea immediately knocked into my mind, i made an experiment on myself but for this i had to make up my mind leaving all the logic and thoughts..."i will not think, will just perform it and will sail away myself in the flow, that's it" but my logical mind tried to interrupt, i gave command to myself..."no, no previous thoughts, just drown in the sea and follow the flow", to prepare myself i needed a short time, so i went down stairs prepared a cup of tea and came back to my room and continued the experiment...

At first i needed some of my "Best looking" pictures, i spent more than forty five minutes to select the pictures and after the selection i immediately posted it...and then i thrown myself in the "Net", randomly selected one of my friend's account and then opened his friend list...there were so many so called "Friends"...again selected one of them randomly and so ever lasting process...friends in the friend list...

While i was busy to access the friend list and the pictures of the account of others in the mean time two of my friends praised my looks/attitude/muscle in the pic

"how are you feeling?"...i asked to myself

I replied to myself...yah ,yah its good to be praised on your looks ,physique and attitude.

"so,what are you gonna do, want more"....i asked again to myself.

i replied very enthusiastically...yes, yes, i want more and more.

the reply i received...then carry on.

So, i again posted one of my pictures of my muscular physique...and after a while i again received some praises...i was about to laugh out but i said myself promised that there will be no logic, just sail away yourself.

so, i stopped my logical mind and continued...

so many pictures are there in different accounts...from walking to lying down state(singly), private had became public due to show off nature...same praises, same appreciations, "Oh, ho, your child has grown up so much, good to see" though the person who made the comment has seen hundreds of pictures of that child in last six months still behaving like...seeing the child after a long time, the readers(receiver of the comments) don't feel bored after having repeated and illogical comments...oh, no i will not apply any logic.

Around 10:30 Pm when my sister visited my room to bid "Good night" , what i listened

...hey i have asked you a question?

i replied being startled

...yah what's up.

She asked curiously

...i asked "what are you doing", i think your doing something with deep concentration from last two hours? reading any book?, accessing Facebook...

She was almost shocked are accessing Facebook from last more than two hours? i cant believe it. also me, 

Suggesting me to continue she left my room.

That day i went to sleep around 1:30 AM without allowing my logical mind to come forward.

Next day morning i felt to share some of my pictures again to be appreciated by others, to get praise and was preparing for it but my logical mind spoke out and asked

...are you planning to share more pics of yours?



...i felt very happy being praised by others on my looks and attitude and personality.

...ok, good confession. 


Then my logical mind continued asking, whats next?

i replied being confused

...what do you mean by "whats next"? it means, ok, let it go , answer me the profit behind such activity...

...oh. God, what do you mean by profit?

My logical mind said

...yah, profit means there must be any positive outcome behind your activity or you are doing it "Abeyy"(for no reason),ok tell me the truth, yesterday you posted one of your muscular pic and was appreciated by your "Friend" but at present you are very irregular in physical exercise and so you actually don't have that amount of bicep as can be seen in the pic.

...oh, ho this is the reason you laughed out when my friends "Like"d my pic and praised my body.

...yes, but you stopped me forcefully, now tell me about the positive outcome of sharing your pic.
i remained silent...

My logical mind asked again

...ok, let it go, tell me a valid reason behind your activity.

I was speechless, trying to find out the reasons to answer my logical mind,my reactions were like these....





My logical mind asked again

...ok, let it go, tell me a valid reason behind your activity.

i was answer-less, my logical mind laughed out and said

...let me asnwer the questions, 

1.actually there is no valid reason behind sharing your pictures. why do you need "Like"s and "Comments"? i know you cant answer.

2."profit" is far away, its a total "wastage" of time and valuable energy when you share pictures for no reason except to be praised by others.

3. Yesterday you were feeling to much bored, have enough FREE TIME to waste so you wasted it.

4. You told the "Half truth", you hide the present truth and pretended to be fine in every aspect, as it was "Half truth" so the other "Half" was purely a "lie".

Hope you have got me.

The truth is easy to sail yourself away in the flow but its really tough to sort out "why should i do it"? its tough to realise your activity when you have lost your own thought process and following the crowd.

And the most toughest work leave any type of addiction...whether smoking or consumption of alcohol or consumption of "Likes" in your own pictures for the shake of "Like".